Week #27 Weigh-in…and mental illness never goes away!!!

So, I’ve mentioned before that extreme obesity really ought to have its own place in the DSM-V. And I’ve got a case study for you to consider.

On Thursday, after a week of stress worrying about budgets and staff, but also a week of crazy, over the top exercise, I stepped on the scale at 323.8#, a gain of 2.8#…in a week in which I exercised for 587 minutes and burned over 10,000 calories. My thought as I stood on the scale was, “Are you flipping kidding me?”

So I came back up to my office, and saw a box of donuts. I walked past it and on to my desk, where I turned around and went back and had a unfrosted cake do-nut. I ate a do-nut because in my head I was saying “I can starve myself and spend hours exercising and still gain 2.8#? Why am I working this hard? Might as well have a do-nut ” But I ate an un-frosted one, because I wasn’t ready to totally give up.

An hour later, I walked past the break-room and stopped to pick up another do-nut; this time a chocolate frosted one, but I broke it half. Again, because I wasn’t totally giving up. Fifteen minutes later, I stopped back and ate the other half the chocolate frosted do-nut. Fifteen minutes after that, I had a serving of pecan coffee cake. And fifteen minutes after that, I had a second serving of pecan coffee cake. Then, an hour after that, I ate a chocolate fudge brownie to end my binge.

The thing that brought me out of it was that I entered every one of those things in myfitnesspal.com and I saw that I had consumed 1,290 calories of sweets in a little over 165 minutes. The shame I felt for the next couple of hours at my obvious craziness was high, but then my lively wife/life coach sent me this picture:

Japan June '12

That’s me in a picture taken in June when we were in Japan. You can see the Japanese Judo athletes shaking my hand. I’m the classed-up sumo looking dude. And so you can see what dropped me out of my funk, here’s a picture I had taken today to put on our school’s website:

RLHS2 130222


Seems to me, like maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about 2.8#. Thanks to Michelle, my mom and my sister for the support as they saw me spiral out of control yesterday. I worked out like a madman after work, so I still finished the day with a calorie surplus. Good time, good times. But at the end of the day, whether it’s as stress relief or because I somehow equate happiness with food, there’s somethings going on in my squash that certainly seem to rate a diagnoses to me. But what do I know?

I know that I’m down 57.2# in 27 weeks. I know I have 15.2# to lose in the next 25 weeks. I know that my BMI is 41.9 and it started at 49.4 27 weeks ago. I know that I have raised over $1,000 for breast cancer and that I have 24 weeks before I will walk 60 miles in 3 days with some other amazing people. I know that I am healthy. I know that many people have worse problems than I do and that I can succeed despite my obvious issues. I know that my all-time record binge lasted 7 months and that I gained 42 pounds in it. I know that a 3-hour binge seems like a hiccup in comparison. I know that I look a hell of a lot better than I did in June and I know that I’ll look even better come next June. I know that lots of people love me, no matter what size I am, and that they’ll get to love me longer if I stay smaller.

That seems like a lot of knowledge. Thanks everyone. Be careful out there.


12 thoughts on “Week #27 Weigh-in…and mental illness never goes away!!!

    • Thanks Kathy. We’ll keep it up. Thinking about doing the Madison Half-Marathon on Memorial Day weekend. Maybe we can see each other?

  1. We all have our weak moments, and though we may learn to limit them (which you have done impressively,) they may always pop up. I know how rough a day you had that day, and I am impressed how you shortened your “lapse” and worked out hard that same evening. (I think you would agree that before now, you wouldn’t have ventured out to the gym after that long, stressful and discouraging day.)

    The stress-eating/food-as-comfort feelings are common in our culture and it seems to be something that took generations to develop, and may take that long to end. (And perhaps some of our obesity crisis will end as well.) But individually, you are taking great strides to separate the enjoyment of good food and using food to induce happiness.

    I am prouder of you for that day than I am for any 40X40 day so far. (And yes, I hope to love you for a LONG time!)

    • You “love me long time?” I didn’t know you watched those kinds of movies?

      Just kidding. I love you too and want everyone to know that I couldn’t do this without your support. I probably could do it without a dietitian, but I couldn’t do it without you.

      Love you!!

  2. Thanks Michelle for the picture. Thanks Ellen and Mom for your support. Thank you Chad for your honesy; you got this, but you already KNOW this!
    Molly (Ellen’s BFF)

    • Thanks Molly. I see you bumped up your 3-Day total over the weekend. I promised not to fund-raise again this month, but if you get closer to me, I might not be able to hold off on my next pitch till Friday. (Is it wrong that I’ve turned cancer fundraising into a competitive sport?)

  3. You are doing awesome. I also have had those hiccups but I vow to not let the craziness that comes with obesity take me over. This is something we can be in control of. You have done amazing and I wish you the best on this life journey. I know you are a force to be reckoned with because you have an amazing wife, mom and dad and extended family. You can do this so stay with the game…..Congratulations

  4. Chad
    Addictions come in many forms and I would make a case that many people would admit to binges that eventually lead to addictions.Balance is something we all strive for. Consider yourself very fortunate that you have the healthy and ability to go workout and you live with a dietician who helps you with meals and planning. You are very blessed. I admire your courage to see what was happening and stop it. 7 months is a long binge and I can’t imagine how hard it must be to stop that behavior and do what is right. But obviously you are doing it and that is simply amazing!

    Keep up the great work!


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